Hold up, when did THAT happen!
by HumanKyt3
Summary: Clyde gets a serious wake up call. Couples: Style, Creek, Dip, Bunny, Candy, and TokenXRed  Ted? i dunno lol  Language and gayness


**One day i was talking to my friend about Clyde and i can't help but picture him as sort of stupid (sorry fro those of you who like him, im not saying i dont this is just my mental image of him) and i thought 'what if he suddenly found out about all these couples?' So this was the outcome! I dont really think too much of Clyde (I dont mean i think badly of him i just dont think of him) because he's not a big character, even Craig is a bigger character! So i decided to give Clyde a little fanfic. So enjoy the exploration of Clydes blank mind (thats how i see it anyway)! **

**I dont own South park, the brilliant Trey Parker and Matt Stone do. Good job guys! XD**

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><p>I was sitting in lunch when I noticed things for the first time. People classified me as spacy and dumb, but I didn't think I was, I think I'm smart, and sexy!<p>

Anyway, what I noticed, I was sitting next to Token and the rest of the football team minus one, when across the cafeteria, I saw Craig and Tweek. Craig never hangs out with me anymore. He's always hanging out with Tweek now. Assholes, that's what they were. Token was my best friend now!

I was ranting on my inner anger when suddenly Craig, no lie here, fucking KISSED Tweek. Square on the mouth! Tweek turned pink and kissed back.

Hold up, Tweek was a scared freak, when did him and badass Craig start going that way?

I was turning toward Token when I saw another shocking thing. Kenny walked hand and hand with Butters. Again, no lie, Kenny Mc-Get-In-Every-Girls-Pants-Cormick was holding hands with Stutters Butters. That's a very odd sight. Kenny usually dumped his girlfriends after the most two weeks, And since when was he into dudes?

Dude? The fuck! Was Stan, the missing football player at our table, holding Kyle against him with an arm around the waist? And did Kyle just tousle the blue eyed boys midnight hair? When the hell did South Park get so . . . Gay?

I finally turned to Token finally, a skeptical look in my eyes "Dude, when the hell did Craig, Tweek, Stan, Kyle, Butters, And Kenny all turn gay for each other?"

Token smacked his head into the table like someone had just said something incredibly stupid. That couldn't be right; the only person talking to him was me! "Dude, you are the biggest dumbass I know! I mean honestly!"

I cocked my head, now I felt the way I do when I'm in math "What are you talking about?"

He shot me an exasperated look "They've all been together for like, three months!"

"Nuh uh!" I cried out, that couldn't be true.

"Well for Stan and Kyle it's been four but still! That's like now knowing that Cartman and Wendy are together!" Token told me, his deep brown eyes annoyed.

I widened my own though "When the hell did fatass and Wendy get together?" I exclaimed. Token looked ready to punch me in annoyance.

"Six months ago dude! Where the hell is you're fuckin' brain man?" He snapped, getting out of the chair "You are stupid as fuck dude," He stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. I was about to yell after him, saying I wasn't stupid, I was smart, and extremely sexy, when he walked right by Damian, WHO HAD HIS ARM AROUND PIP!

I was so close to just ignoring it, but that was the devils son right there, with a beefy arm around the most soft kid in school.

I stood up and I ran after Token yelling "WAIT! WHEN THE HELL DID DAMIAN AND PIP GET TOGETHER?" I caught up to him in the hall. I know he heard me because he turned around.

Token gritted his teeth when he turned to me. Why was he so mad? He needed to take a chill pill.

"A year and five MOTHER FUCKING MONTHS AGO! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!" He shouted.

"Chillax bro. But jeez really? Why didn't I know all this?"

Token put a hand on my shoulder "Clyde man, I know this has been a lot of thinking for you, How about you go to the nurse and after school you rest you're head. I'm going out with Red later but after that I'll come over and help you ice your head, Kay buddy?"

That kind of confused me but hell, I didn't care, there was only one class left after this and pretending to be sick to skip it sounded pretty damn good "Okay,"

He patted my shoulder and started walking down the hall, when something caught up to me.

"HOLD UP, YOU AND RED ARE TOGETHER?"

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Please review but dont be too mean. Thanks!<strong>


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